so i stumbled on this website and as i'm reading, what's really grinding me is that there's not somewhere for fucking anti-choicers (that bitch, who does she think she is?) like me to say "HEY, i truly feel in my heart of hearts that abortion is wrong but DOUCHEBAGS, WE'RE NOT ALL SCREAMING IN YOUR FACE IN FRONT OF PLANNED PARENTHOOD, SO WHY DON'T YOU LET ME LIVE MY ANTI-CHOICE LIFE WHILE I LET YOU LIVE YOUR ANTI-LIFE LIFE?" ::eyeroll:: stop perpetuating the hostility, lady, really.

oh, also? brenda and richard brochon are my real parents. amy shannon gave birth to me. as far as she was concerned, brenda and richard brochon were my real parents, but that never stopped her from wanting to know me (or me from wanting to know her). so fuck you, lady, there's something to be said when all logic is removed from a situation and all you're moving forward with is mutual respect and love for all parties involved. (that's called FEELING. you know, HAVING EMOTION. do it. make decisions based only upon it sometimes. it's nice.) and our stupid, meaningless, oprah-like tear-filled joyous reunion changed my fucking life. my sister is my sister, my brothers are my brothers and my extended family is my extended family. and whatever, i'm going to say it - the kind of love that i feel for everyone and the kind of love they feel back for me, the kind nobody can describe but one that we've never felt before or since, that awesome feeling wouldn't exist if amy shannon had prevented me from living.

for me, choosing life was never political or religious. it was and always will be one hundred percent emotional, and no amount of not-sorry women are going to make me believe that aborting a fetus is an okay thing to do - which is also something i've said to the many women in my life who have terminated their pregnancies. i (and many like me) do not judge but do not like the idea that abortions are legally performed, so leave me with my opinion and have some respect for it. otherwise i will shit on yours like you shit on mine.

dumb, judgemental, intolerant fuckers. EVERYONE JUST COEXIST.

i'm seeing gavin degraw tomorrow night for the first time in four years. tinted windows is playing ten minutes away, and everyone's going to that instead, and i don't even care.

I'M SEEING GAVIN DEGRAW TOMORROW NIGHT FOR THE FIRST TIME IN FOUR YEARS.

i hate tinted windows and everything about them and i'm not sure how to interpret that.

i just discovered - by accident - how to embed media from other websites to livejournal. it serves me no purpose right now since i have nothing entertaining to share, but i just figured it out nonetheless. :)

MY FRIEND CALLED ME OUT ON MY WORKCRUSH YESTERDAY. he had actually said something the other day when we were working together - we were fucking around somehow and beefstick goes "yo, why you always pickin' on mah man?" obviously i tried to defend myself but when that failed i just walked away. apparently, that's when beefstick brought my suspected (apparently obvious :X) crush to light. i confirmed to beefstick last night that i did, in fact, have a massive boner for workcrush...and he proceeded to tell me like everything about him (well, the stuff that matters). he is currently WITHOUT A GIRLFRIEND, and the girlfriend was a hostess over the summer...which means that she was young. WHICH IS A GOOD THING. anyway, i'm kind of bummed that his response to beefstick's comment was "no way, she doesn't like me, she's just affectionate" BUT I GUESS ALL THAT MEANS IS I'LL HAVE TO TRY HARDER.

ps i'm kind of bummed about all this bullshit.

another double at chang's today; what a joyus occasion. work!crush will be there this morning though (which may or may not be the reason i picked up the morning shift)...the other day our juvenile flirting (which consists of, like, exiting the other person out of the computer mid-order and other such things that make each other's life miserable) progressed to include actually touching each other, which i guess is a step in the right direction!! i'm so enjoying being giggly and over-the-moon about some guy. i feel like a teenager.

i slept for SO MANY HOURS yesterday. my roomie got some awesome weed which made me high for literally the whole day and i was passed the fuck out at like 7:30. she went to bed around 9 and i think i ended up in bed around midnight when i woke up. i woke up at 9 this morning. this flu needs to gtfo of my system because dammit i wanna have FUUUUUN.

wish me luck with the boy today! ugh i need to try to take a picture of him and post it here, he's so attractive it's retarded.

i haven't been this high in a really, really long time and it feels awesome.

rona brought a new laptop home from her job!!!!! yaaaayy, goodbye ibm thinkpad from like 1997!!! (this is my new baby. innit pretty?!)

i am crushing SO FUCKING HARD GUYS it's not even funny. we worked an 8 hour shift together yesterday and fadskl;gjqerj i can't stop giggling over him. i feel like i'm in grade school.

the past few days have gone really well at work and i'm seeing more and more money everyday. everyone's just really fucking awesome and i'd have been so grateful for even a SHITTY job in this economy. loving this place (despite some bullshit of course, but it's all insignificant anyway) is such a bonus. if you're ever in westbury ny, come eat at p.f. chang's and leave me a fat tip.

it's taken me like a half hour to write this, that's how blazed i am. daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn.


have a beautiful day, y'all.

i was creepy tonight and found out all the things i didn't know about work!crush via google. that was a first for me - i facebook because google is too complicated. like, there are pieces of puzzles to put together and trails of forum posts...thankfully his name is like the most complicated ever (well that's not true, but it's unique) and there weren't many people to search through.

blind item: have fun going back to the place where you didn't even know you were (and still are) nothing but a huge, pathetic fucking joke. you're so self-absorbed and dramatic, though, that you probably won't even realize it THIS time either.

i think i'm getting sick. :( NYQUIL FTW.

and i can't believe michael sarver stayed and ALEXIS WENT HOME. i mean REALLY. i'm neither of their biggest fans but REALLY, ALEXIS OVER MICHAEL? i know he's going home next week but UGH this means that when we go to the tour i have to suffer through the slaughtering of some of my favorite songs of all time. because that man doesn't just suck, he MUTILATES large iconic portions of american music culture for every minute he's on stage. and REALLY, alison was in the BOTTOM THREE? REALLY???? okay, america. way to HAVE EARS.

oh i love matt giraud. and i also fail to see the danny gokey hooplah. he is just so quintessentially ~*idol*~ to me (whatever that means?) and i really can't get on board. i don't dislike him, but why is he such a big deal? alison, megan and blindey (scott macintyre? is it bad that i really don't know his name?) are all up there for me too but i can't rank them yet. because i knew you wanted to know.

OH & LOL, today my boss saw that my checkbook (not like the one i use for the bank, the one i use at work to write orders in) had jb all over it and proceeded to ask me fourteen times if i was serious. then he asked me if i'd seen the south park, and when i laughed in his face for asking such a stupid question he wanted to know how accurate it was...and of course i started gushing over how perfect EVERY DETAIL was, from the kicks to the hairstyles TO THE FUCKING JOE/KEVIN BACK!SEX. he goes, "oh my god, you've been to their concert?" to which i replied "silly marc, i've been to FOUR of them. and i've met them." to which he replied, "oh, you had a meet and greet thing? did you win it?" AND THEN I SHAMELESSLY TOLD MY BOSS ABOUT HOW MANY HOURS OF MY LIFE HAVE BEEN SPENT WAITING FOR JB AT TRUMP TOWERS. his face was pretty awesome. i wish i took a picture. the only thing he could think to say after this huge fact about my life was revealed was "how old are you?" haha. i told him i was sixteen. he believed me for a minute.

steph & mikey time tomorrow night after work (in which i have to see the man i've spent the last hour and a half googling AND TRY NOT TO BE EMBARRASSED ABOUT THE FACT THAT I WAS SEARCHING THE INTERNET FOR HIS NAME UNTIL TWO THIRTY IN THE MORNING), which is exciting. i can't wait to see either of them. :) goodnight, hoes.

last night one of my good friends from high school came over. i hadn't seen her in five years and neither of us realized it until we saw each other. we had pizza at 7, came back here at 8, and two bottles of wine later (at 2:15) we called it a night. it was great - it felt like we hadn't skipped a minute. and what's funny is i kind of overlooked her as a friend in high school. like we hung out all the time, but my best friends were nikki and liana and really who likes change? i'm really glad she came over, really glad we got to talk about our high school lives and what both of us went through, together and seperately. it's been years since i've been able to do that. five years, actually. and her & mikey are coming back thursday night. the three of us in particular always kind of had something special together, but again it kind of got forgotten when we were hanging out since we were always with our larger group of friends. it's gonna be an awesome time.

i weighed myself last night. 185.5 down from 187 on thursday morning. that made me pretty happy. :)

i cashed in the change from my car today thinking there was maybe five bucks, but i came out with $11.80! today must be my lucky day because lean cuisines were on sale for $2 each, so i got 3 paninis. WHATEVER I'M GRATEFUL FOR THE LITTLE THINGS, OK?

i was airing out the apartment today because there was the fucking NICEST ocean breeze (for christ's sake i live on the ocean, like how the hell am i NOT supposed to love it here, and there are always cruise ships in the distance at night. fkjdsajkd) and dj escaped onto the balcony without my knowledge, that bastard. he was three balconies over when i got him with a mcdonald's sausage. that little piece of shit. i love him though. he's on my lap right now and he says HI DANGER, if you're reading this!

can you tell from these mundane updates on every detail of my life that i'm going nuts without my phone? grrr. whatever, i'm content with my life on the d-list marathon for the rest of my day off. i'm doing a double tomorrow and i'm PUMPED about it, i just re-read the training manual from front to back so they HAVE to beef up my section tomorrow. i need to make a lot of money tomorrow. desperately. :|

cc came to visit at the beginning of the month and it made a lot of things really clear, which is awesome. clearly, he is content to settle in chicago trapped in a relationship that i don't even think HE understands, and, while of course that fact hurt me at first, i decided my standards are WAY higher than that. i do love him and i did really think it was going to work, but i'm okay without him. i always think about his happiness and i hope he gets to where he wants to be, because he really deserves it. i think if it were up to him, i'd still be here hanging on pining after him. i choose instead to go out on dates. and truthfully, for a few weeks now a minor crush on a guy at work has been brewing...and it's just turned into a MAJOR one. and everyone thinks he's sexy as hell AND EVERYONE ALSO THINKS HE LIKES ME TOO, which i can't believe. so i'm prepared for a REAL date very soon.

i am losing weight without even trying and it feels great. jeans that haven't fit me since high school are loose and i can't believe it. even looking at my icon is startling because my face was so much rounder. when i look in the mirror now, i'm starting to see the michelle i remember - the one who was pretty and adventurous with lots of friends and plenty of guys who found her attractive. i'm on my way to skinny me and i'm enjoying the journey!

rachel called me last week and you could have knocked me over dead. i missed that girl and we talked for almost an hour. i'm glad she's back in my life because i love all those bitches, no matter what. :)

summation? life is fucking beautiful right now.

1. WHAT TIME DO YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING?
if my alarm isn't set, usually around 10.

2. IF YOU COULD EAT LUNCH WITH ONE FAMOUS PERSON, WHO WOULD IT BE?
joe jonas.

3. GOLD OR SILVER?
silver.

4. WHAT WAS THE LAST FILM YOU SAW AT THE CINEMA?
paul blart: mall cop

5. FAVOURITE TV SHOW?
the office, followed by friends, followed by grey's anatomy

6. WHAT DO YOU HAVE FOR BREAKFAST?
i rarely eat breakfast, but when i do it up i eat scrambled eggs & orange juice.

7. WHO WOULD YOU HATE TO BE LEFT IN A ROOM WITH?
isaac hanson. good thing nikki, isaac, my rock boat boyfriend & i weren't put in that situation on the last night after i'd already drank a bottle and a half of rum. OH WAIT THAT'S RIGHT IT DID.

8. CAN YOU TOUCH YOUR NOSE WITH YOUR TONGUE?
no but i know at least one person who can!

9. WHAT INSPIRES YOU?
music, for so many reasons: the top two being the way it can just speak to your soul like nothing else, and how it transcends generations, agendas, grudges & whatever other divides separate people.

10. WHAT'S YOUR MIDDLE NAME?
lee. sometimes i spell it 'leigh' because 'lee' is the boy spelling. =\

11. BEACH, CITY, OR COUNTRY?
beach just barely wins over city, but i like the country too.

12. SUMMER OR WINTER?
summer.

13. FAVOURITE ICE CREAM?
mmm, international delight cafe makes a mean vanilla peanut butter.

14. BUTTERED, PLAIN, OR SALTED POPCORN?
buttered and salted, otherwise really what's the point?

15. FAVOURITE CAR?
i mean i'm not that into cars, but i really want a prius.
.
16. FAVOURITE SANDWICH FILLING?
peanut butter & jelly.

17. FAVOURITE TYPE OF MUSIC?
independent/unknown pop/rock. i don't know guys, what would you call this like incestual genre of music we listen to?

18. TRUE LOVE?
exists, for me, in chicago.

19. WHAT CHARACTERISTIC DO YOU DESPISE?
uncertainty.

20. FAVOURITE FLOWER?
gerber daisies, because even though they look so self-sufficient and strong they need extra support.

21. IF YOU HAD A BIG WIN IN THE LOTTERY, HOW LONG WOULD YOU WAIT TO TELL PEOPLE?
i mean like 5 seconds.

22. DO YOU WEAR PAJAMAS?
not usually but when it's cold i have to layer.

23. WHAT COLOR ARE YOUR EYES?
brown.

24. HOW MANY KEYS ON YOUR KEY RING?
like 4 billion. i don't really know why. i'm like a janitor.

25. WHERE WOULD YOU RETIRE TO?
can i have a career first please?

26. FAVOURITE DAY OF THE WEEK?
thursday. the office is on!

28. RED OR WHITE WINE?
white.

29. WHAT DID YOU DO FOR YOUR LAST BIRTHDAY?
drove to ashville, nc to see hanson play their best show ever.

30. DO YOU CARRY A DONOR CARD?
i signed the back of my license, does that count?

31. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THE PERSON THAT SENT THIS TO YOU:
i found it on the interweb, and i love the interweb.

1. Put your music on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!
4. Tag 10 friends who might enjoy doing the meme as well as the person you got the meme from

IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY?" YOU SAY?
change your mind - hazel

WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
need - tyrone wells

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
i will remember you - tyrone wells

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
gin & juice - zac brown band

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
free - zac brown band (OMG PERFECT)

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
champagne high - hazel

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
chicken fried - zbb

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
makin' love - zbb

WHAT IS 2+2?
falling - tyrone wells

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
fly - tyrone wells

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
isn't she lovely - zbb

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
train song - zbb

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
better days - zbb

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
SJKHSDAHJKHAFJKLHAUF E8ESDC BUERGJD
WHERE THE BOAT LEAVES FROM - ZAC BROWN BAND

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
every little thing she does - sister hazel

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
measure of a man - jack ingram (HAHAHA)

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
wondering where you are - tyrone wells

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
running through the fields - sister hazel

WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
sea breeze - tyrone wells

HOW WILL YOU DIE?
california - tyrone wells

WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
why don't you - ingram hill

WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
all i can do - tyrone wells

WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
she's leaving - tyrone wells

WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?
this kind of love - sister hazel

WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?
more - tyrone wells

DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
dream like new york - tyrone wells (so...i guess that's a no?)

IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
happy as the sun - tyrone wells

WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
out there - sister hazel

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
the way you shine - tyrone wells

(one) | (two) | (three) | (four) | (five)

i think i made them public, so you shouldn't have a problem seeing them. COMMENT and if we're not friends on facebook, WHY THE HELL NOT? add me! :D

while i was taking my final yesterday morning, katie packed up her shit, grabbed danger (the cat) and moved back to maine.

while i was at work.





i passed the final.

so, lots of shit. don't envy me right now. basically katie decided to move back to maine, which left me to decide if i wanted to transfer the elase to my name and try to find a roommate or move back in with my parents, neither of which were ideal. THANK GOD for rona who offered me her spare bedroom for $650/month. AND she's letting me keep dj, so that's a HUGE load off. katie's taking danger to maine.

please don't even ask me what happened right now. i'm all talked out about it and i promise i will tell you soon, but there's so much other shit i need to focus on first, like my pf chang's final. yes, a final. can you believe. i'm WAITING TABLES. whatver, i do love it there and i'm glad to have learned as much as i did. so i take that tomorrow morning and then start making MAAAAD MONEY!!! then maybe i can entertain thoughts of the 16th. i'm still not really counting on it, because if i have to choose, i want to do the boat more, and i need to get to chicago to see my new man (!!!!) before then. BUT WE'LL SEE!!

so i swear to god that for once i'm NOT just being lazy and not uploading. when katie and i got home it became apparent that we hadn't paid any bills, so we have no internet, no tv and no phone. we're vigorously working on it though, believe you me. i can't wait to share everything with everyone!

so i'm not gonna launch into great detail here since i'm posting this from my phone, but i'll give you some good stuff. i'm sure everyone's really interested in all things hanson, but to be honest they were such a small part of the whole experience that i feel i'd be doing the boat an injustice by only talking about them. they all jammed with people individually (isaac and taylor with tolcher, seperate shows - zac with francisco vidal and like 37473 other people on the casino stage, and possibly more that i didn't catch) and as a full band (at least with sister hazel and cowboy mouth, but i feel like we missed a bunch of others), and now my phone won't let me type anymore so full recap to come shortly!

SEE YOU ON THE FLIP

TRB NINER 10-MONTH SHITFEST WAIT ENDS RIGHT NOW

IF YOU'RE GOING, FIND US IN ROOM 6154//IF YOU'RE NOT, PLEASE BELIEVE HOW MUCH I WILL SOLEMNLY MISS YOUR PRESENCE ABOARD THIS FLOATING SHIT FEST (MAINERS/NEW ENGLANDERS, I'M TALKING TO YOU!!!!!), BUT REST ASSURED A BUCKET OF BEER WILL BE CONSUMED IN EACH OF YOUR HONORS!!

ISN'T THAT KIND OF LIKE, NAMING A STAR AFTER SOMETHING OR GETTING ONE OF THOSE PAPERS THAT SAYS "A DONATION HAS BEEN MADE IN YOUR NAME TO THE NEW YORK DANCE CONSERVATORY" OR SOMEHTING? I MEAN, REALLY. I'LL DRINK A BUCKET OF BEER FOR YOU? LIKE WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO WITH THAT? YOU CAN'T WEAR IT, LIKE...WHAT A SHITTY GIFT. IDK I JUST REALLY WISH EVERYONE WAS GOING.


AAAAAANYWAYYYYYYYY.............

TRB NINER, THE TIME HAS COME! I LOVE YOU & I'LL MISS YOU ALL!!!!!

so, we're broke and our restaurant is closing for the winter. we need cash. PLEASE click on this and complete a survey. you get paid & i get five dollars per person who does this. youuuuu rock.

click here to help me pay my rent for free! ♥

EDIT-when i say "click and take a survey" what i REALLY mean is "click, sign up and take a survey." oops! :)

i feel trapped, hurt, and alone. sometimes i wish i hadn't moved out of my parents' house, because it's proving true that you really don't know someone until you live with them. it's definitely got perks and mostly it's a lot of fun, but be careful: the knife in your back stings a million times worse when it's been shoved there by your roommate AND best friend. i guess my cousin's cock is a bigger deal than us, even though you're fully aware of how it makes my stomach turn. i don't want you using my family as part of your adventure because what you're doing to everyone around you (including me) is hurtful and i don't know how to be clearer about it. please have regard for other peoples' feelings.

commenting disabled, so you don't feel conflicted about skimming right over this entry.

the same kitchen guy who bought katie her boots bought me this bracelet:


...and these earrings, which look far less fabulous online than they do in person:



friends with money freaking RULE, man.

so.


i get home from work today, and the lot we park in (which is usually empty) was completely filled. except for mine & katie's parking spaces. i'm wondering what kind of event george washington manor is holding that would fill a lot on a tuesday night, when i see a paramount pictures fuckin' mac truck shit. then i start seeing cameras and lights and craft service and trailers and i'm like, "HOLY FUCK, THEY'RE FILMING A MOVIE ACROSS THE STREET FROM MY HOUSE."

someone walking around the lot told me it was called after.life, so obviously we googled as soon as i got upstairs.

josh charles. liam neeson. JUSTIN LONG. AND CHRISTINA RICCI. are the stars of this movie. only two were filming tonight.

AND IT WAS JUSTIN & CHRISTINA.


...JUSTIN LONG.

AND CHRISTINA RICCI.

FILMED A MOVIE.

ACROSS THE STREET.

FROM MY HOUSE.

FOR EIGHT. HOURS.

AND I WATCHED FROM MY LIVING ROOM WINDOW.

i don't fucking care. it was THE COOLEST THING THAT'S EVER HAPPENED TO ME. like i saw and heard JUSTIN FUCKING LONG FILMING SCENES WITH CHRISTINA FUCKING RICCI FOR A MOVIE WHICH ALSO STARS LIAM NEESON....FROM MY LIVING ROOM WINDOW. LIKE I'M WATCHING THEM DISASSEMBLE WHILE I'M WRITING THIS. i mean obviously we went across the street and watched too, but JKLF;E HA[8 RJG. justin did PUSH-UPS FIFTEEN FEET AWAY WHILE WE STOOD AND GAPED. AND THEN IF WE DIDN'T LOVE HIM ENOUGH ALREADY, HE BUSTED OUT INTO SONG. THREE TIMES. THE MOST NOTABLE BEING THE GROWING PAINS THEME SONG. sorry this is all in caps and i swear i'm not trying to be braggy but oh my GODDDDDDD.

then we started putting coincidences together...and NOT ONLY were they shooting at gw, THEY WERE SHOOTING THE EXTERIOR MANSION SCENES ACROSS THE STREET FROM WHERE WE WORK.

after.life. see it. look for me in the scene where justin long is begging anna (christina ricci) to come to chicago with him.

PICTURES AND VIDEO TO FOLLOW.

(christina was, sadly, a bitch. justin was awesome. incase you were wondering.)

JLWWYUH JCFWIO F; WHVK.H IORER !?@?@%#@%*#($)(@^$*#$(%@#)!!gcv hSBHY$%$^u$%^$%!!!!!!! !!$#$$#%#%$#@@!!!!!!!!!!!